Shadow work is an ongoing journey of uncovering hidden parts of ourselves and integrating them into our conscious awareness. In the first two parts of this series, we explored the basics of shadow work and how to identify your shadow using different techniques and astrology. Now, it’s time to go deeper. This post will guide you through understanding the root of your shadow and tracing it back to its origin - whether in childhood, societal expectations, or even ancestral influences. By uncovering these roots, you can dismantle limiting beliefs and begin to heal.
If you haven't read the second post about shadow work, check it to be able to identify your shadow(s).
Shadow work: understanding the root of your shadow
Shadows originate in various places, often overlapping:
🩶Childhood: beliefs formed through early relationships or experiences. Our shadows often form during childhood, where foundational beliefs about ourselves and the world are established. To trace these shadows, consider what emotions or traits were praised, ignored, or shamed in your upbringing. Reflect on how these patterns show up in your life today
Example:
Parental expectations: Did you grow up in a household where love felt conditional on achievement or behavior?
Unspoken rule: Were you taught to suppress emotions, stay quiet, or avoid conflict?
Early wound: Experiences of neglect, criticism, or overprotection can leave lasting imprints on our psyche
🩶 Societal conditioning: internalized expectations or stereotypes. Beyond family, society and culture also contribute to the formation of shadows. Cultural norms and societal expectations shape what is considered “acceptable” or “valuable.”
Gender roles: Pressure to conform to traditional masculinity or femininity
Success and productivity: The glorification of hustle culture and the suppression of rest or vulnerability
Cultural conditioning: beliefs tied to race, religion, or ethnicity that lead to feelings of shame or exclusion
Example: You pull an oracle card asking, “What am I suppressing?” The card you draw relates to self-expression and creativity. Reflecting on it, you recall how you used to wear colorful clothes and big accessories but stopped due to fear of judgment and societal expectations. What will people think seeing me like that in the office or in the shop? At my age, I should wear proper clothes. This moment reveals a hidden shadow- a fear of rejection and vulnerability in creative expression. This insight can encourage you to explore your creativity again, working on releasing your fear of being judged or not fitting in.
🩶 Ancestral trauma: emotional patterns inherited from previous generations. To explore these, connect with your lineage. Research family history or engage in meditations to uncover inherited patterns that might influence your shadow.
Examples:
Witch wounds: Fears of expressing spiritual beliefs or practicing witchcraft due to historical persecution
Inherited trauma: Generational patterns of fear, scarcity, or unresolved grief
Cultural disconnection: A loss of ancestral traditions, rituals, or identity
The key is to notice recurring themes, behaviors, or fears and trace them to their origins. For example:
A fear of failure might stem from being criticized as a child
A tendency to people-please might come from societal pressure to be agreeable
Difficulty trusting others might link to ancestral wounds of betrayal or loss
Getting to the bottom of limiting beliefs
At the root of every shadow is a core belief- a “story” you tell yourself about who you are or what you’re worth. Common examples include:
I am not enough
I must be perfect to be loved
My emotions are a burden
Identifying these beliefs allows you to challenge and rewrite them. Start by asking:
What do I believe about myself in this situation?
Is this belief objectively true, or is it a story I’ve been telling myself?
How can I reframe this belief in a way that empowers me?
Example: You used mirror work to identify your shadow. During a mirror work session, when you said “I am enough as I am” you immediately feel uncomfortable and notice critical thoughts emerging, such as, “You’re not doing enough.” Reflecting on this, you realize you often feel inadequate in social settings or personal relationships, no matter how much you’ve accomplished. Digging deeper, you uncover a deeply ingrained belief that your worth is tied to how much you do or achieve - an echo of messages from your past. This moment of awareness reveals an area for your shadow work: embracing self-acceptance and finding your value beyond productivity or external validation.
Reflection Exercise - getting to the bottom of limiting belief
Here you can find some guided exercise which could help you to remove your limiting belief:
Find a place when you are not disturbed and feel safe. Have a notebook/ piece of paper with you and a pen. You can do some meditation before if you like.
Take a recurring challenge or emotional trigger in your life you identified after the previous post. If there is more than one, choose one of them. During this exercise always focus on one to not overwhelm yourself.
Ask yourself: When did I first feel this way?
Take your time to think. Write down the memory or situation that comes to mind. Repeat until you can find the oldest memory of it
Reflect: What belief did I form about myself during this time? Is this belief still serving me? Write down the limiting belief.
Rewrite the belief into a positive affirmation. Think of what is the opposite of your assumption. For example, you may change “I am not enough” to “I am worthy just as I am.” Use your own words.
Write your new affirmation on a piece of paper and place it in a visible place. You can also create the phone or computer wallpaper with it so you can see it every time you check your phone/computer
Understanding the root of your shadow is a courageous step in your self-growth journey. By uncovering these limiting beliefs and addressing their origins, you create space for healing, transformation, and empowerment. In the next part I will write about transforming and healing the shadow.
Remember, you are not defined by your shadows - you are defined by the light and love you bring to them ✨
Shadow work: understanding the root of your shadow
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